There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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