i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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