I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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