drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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