u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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