I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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