what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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