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I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
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