Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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