I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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