yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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