im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize