My hand turned me down
Can Purell be used as lube?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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