im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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