I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize