I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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