dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize