at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
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I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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