I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize