I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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