oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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