Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize