so that wasnt chicken after all
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
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Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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