I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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