Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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