so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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