I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
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College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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