bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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