god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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