kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize