Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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