I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize