I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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