we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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