does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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