I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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