I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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