The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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