Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize