okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
is wine microwaveable?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize