the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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