I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize