If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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