Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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