So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize