I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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