so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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