if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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