just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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