I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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